Nebulas, Update on the book and restlessness that doesn't seem to end

I am listening to blues and staring at the screen. Writing doesn’t come easy to me. I have to fight for the words. The thoughts that form inside me, if they were objects with real weight, volume and force, my insides would be a huge wreck. I know this. They roll and rumble, sometimes, growl and thunder, sometimes explode! And to form words for those thoughts and jot them down, type them here is like waging a war against myself. It’s bloody. However, I love doing it.

When I write and click that post button, I know I am opening yet another small window through which the whole world can see the inside of me. I will be vulnerable and open to judgments. I would like to do it anyway. Perhaps, I have a streak of an exhibitionist!  I like to share thoughts, because these are not just mine. We are all interconnected, I do not write for myself only.

I have not been doing much lately, just printing images of universe, nebulas, blue daisies, horses and warrior princesses and sticking them all over the walls of my room. While I lay back in my bed, I like immersing myself in them.  “The Book” is stalled for the moment because there is another story brewing that has been grabbing my face and forcing me to look at it. I know I should at least do the second draft of ‘The Book’ as it is pretty much shaped and structured. I need to end it. But the end is just not becoming..

I still get dragged to some distant hill and I still feel the restlessness of Mr. V that follows him in his journey..  He is still searching.. and I feel that angst. And unless this feeling is over, I know the story is not over at all..

update on 'The Book'- 4

Finally the exams are over... WOOO HOOO!!! I got my peace of mind back for another couple of weeks after which, again I will have to put on the hat of a juggler..

Anyways, lets leave this 'talk about me' here.. I am here to talk about 'The Book'.

I had not been able to visit the airport terminal due to my exams and overloaded work schedule ( we are understaffed you see). So, my dear phantom readers, I have decided to go to the airport this week. I promise, within this week... so that Mr. V get to move ahead from the airport waiting lounge he has been sitting in for past two weeks.

He is almost about to smash those ceiling high glass windows and dash towards the runway! Well that is what you might as well get tempted to do if you were stuck inside one space with throngs of people and not get out.. you see the moment remains hanging in eternity. It doesn't move. The lights do not go out, the people remain where they are, like a flash mob that lasts forever. It's almost like one of those nightmares from the movie ' Hell Raiser'.. You are stuck inside one scene for eternity..

Sorry, I am drifting here... Is it obvious that I am very very distracted today? I think it is the giddyness of freedom I am anticipating after weeks of submerged living between the lines.. I mean figuratively ( My bed is piled up with books, pens, papers, chewed pencils and empty packets of lays chips which I am going to have to clear out tonight as soon as I reach home from work..). Ah! I have lists of things planned up for a whole month or so to explore after that caveliving ... :)

Well, back to ' The Book' again.. Yes Mr. V is stuck at the airport terminal. But there are other plots forming in my mind parallel to that. I am visiting hills and forests in my sleep. Sometimes, I can almost smell the leaves and moss even in middle of this dried desert city. Ms. Y is taking me there. I am travelling with her through the dense forests and running up and down the silhouette of hills and mountains. I am seeking the meaning of her existence along with her. Sometimes, I can almost hear her voice murmuring songs, and sometimes I hear her roar with the anger that runs in her blood. I know she is angry and finally putting the pieces of puzzle of her life together.

Let's see how the bigger picture looks like...  in time.

:)

With Love
- The Warrior Poetess

Update No.3

This update is about the protagonist of 'the book'. Let us call her Ms. M for now. I have been building her up in my brain. What she likes, how she laughs, her small quirks and mannerisms. She grows a lot over the span of time in the story. One could say, she lives two life times. One as an average next door girl, another as a member of underground militia. 

Now, I don't want to give away too much here, you guys will have to bear with me while I pen down the whole story, which is going on albeit in slower phase. I might be a gone for a bit longer from here, though I will try to post the Sunday ‘photo journal’ and at least one poem a week. This week has been dry though. I got exams coming up in 2 weeks so been pretty heavily dosed with the text book contents to let my imagination run wild 'up there'.

On top of that, I got a full day photography workshop this Friday sponsored by Canon. I am hoping to learn a lot more about photography in near future, for which I have immense interest. Perhaps, you will see the results as better photographs in this blog after the workshop.

If I don’t drop by again for this week, ‘Have a good weekend people!”

Much Love.

-The Warrior Princess

Update - 2

So, it has been almost a week and I am at the point of start. Mr. V is in the airport, waiting to board the flight to Nepal. He lives in US of A and is travelling across the Atlantic with a secret.

I am still a bit fuzzy when it comes to describing the airport, it is an international airport in US. Now I have never been to US, so I do not know how the airports there look like, and does every state have international airports? I guess most of the airports look similar, the waiting area with those attached seats, ceiling high glass windows, the usual coming and going of people... To be more 'in sync' I have decided to go to the airport here in 'D Town', I know they won't let you in without the air ticket, but may be I will just hang around in the lounge outside the 'departure' area and write the rest...

Mr. V is getting more clearer in my mind. He likes to drink coffee with very little sugar and milk; he always has a nervousness around him, a sense of insecurity though he has a good job, a Green Card ( thanks to his US born wife). He is being modeled after someone I had a crush ( HUGE BIG TIME CRUSH) on. With thick somewhat messed hair, I even gave him a pair of  myopic glasses. He is a sensitive man but a bit selfish and opportunist at the same time. Sometimes he bits the inside of his lips, when he is nervous, or thinking too much or reading an interesting book.. his childhood habit. He comes from humble background, has paid his dues to be where he is. He has a past, as in P-A-S-T, and a secret that catchs up with him in his present and drags him back to where it all had started.

Well, despite this... haven't been able to move on with the story.. I know the sequence of events, but everything is too mixed. Should I start with Mr. V in the bedroom, thiking about the day when everything changed. OR, from the airport?? Right now, I am opening the scene at the airport.. lets see what happens..

Gotta get back to the story... Ciao my phantom readers!

Update No. 1

' The Book' is shaping up. The sleep deprived writer is hugely in debt with her local shop for buying tonns of coffee and cheese croissants in her mid night run for inspiration. Certain Mr. G has been bombared with copies of first chapter ( more than one version) and hopefully he is being able to read them despite his thesis works.

I was fine with the first version, the story opens up with a statement that is the key to the whole plot of the novel. However, while I was sitting in the kitchen ( this is where I like to work, I like having my stash of caffeine near me) another version popped up. Well, one could say that it had been loitering in the back of my mind for sometime.

There is a male character, let us call him Mr. X for now. He is one of the major characters and I know that he was having issues with me giving more attention to Ms. Y ( she is also one of the major characters, well you could say that ' The Book' is about her). How I know this? Because, he has been visiting me in my dreams and bribing me with all this different prespectives to the story.

He is like, " Hey, you know what.. you could begin with such and such event, that will give more depth to the story.!" and he would give a sly smile and add, " If you did that, I would take you out to so and so (Grand, posh, filled with beautiful and rich people) and give you a taste of how life is on the other side."

Mockery, he mocks me for my pauperness ( if there is any word as such), he knows what ticks me because he lives inside my head. He knows that I want, as in W-A-N-T, for a change, to enjoy a beautifully cooked delicious meal than my poor experiments at the stove.

Take a note here that when you decide to chose to be a writer, everything else in your life takes backseat, cooking skills among one of them. My mother says, I will not be able to save my life if there were a faceoff for the 'edible food at least'.

You might also end up a spinster! With no cooking skills, unplucked brows, random sleeping hours and tendency to go, ' Aha!' in middle of a kissing that might lead to more interesting things session and running to the kitchen to write down the next twist in the plot. Unless you are Sophie Ward( I adore her!). Then, you can have a wonderful bunch of friends, invites to all the cool social calander events, a career as a model ( ROCKSTAR!) and a love life... I found her accidentaly and she has come to be an inspiration, though our writing style and interests are totally different.

Hmm.. this is turning out to be more of a confessional rather than an update on the story. Well, but to think about it, if I give away too much of the story here, who is going to stick around when I find a publisher.. Well, who would even want to publish a book that is already half published over the net...? Still, I am not a cruel, money minded, cold person who only thinks of making profits and not her readers. Why, I write for the readers, I cannot say " I WRITE FOR MYSELF!" That is crap. That is shit!

When I write, first it is because I want, I love to and I have to write. But I write also to share; I share my soul with my words as I am not good when it comes to speaking. If I were to stop writing, it won't be long people will see a certain asian looking woman with mangled hair and baggy eyes in her PJs running around the 'D' Town raving mad. And I bet that won't be a pretty sight!

As for the update on ' The Book', keep coming back to this page, you might get snippets of it in the near future.